Visit a concentration camp for spastics, mental defectives and political derelicts in the jungle outside Foo-Chow. Help prepare Japan's Crown Princess for “bridal breach” in the Togu Palace. Watch children undergo systematic emotional abuse in a Soviet kindergarten. Poke around for uncollapsed blood vessels with a junkie tart during High Mass in China's underground church. Learn how to make a movie from absolute scratch using only stuff you can find in the back yard.

"Tom Bradley is the libertine that Camille Paglia tries to portray herself as, in order to keep her Jocasta fantasies at bay."
--Jonathan Penton

The Aristocrats JOKE Anthology

Your favorite classic authors tell their versions of the world's filthiest joke!

An entertainer is pitching a sordid series of increasingly transgressive behaviors to an impresario, who eventually asks, "What is the name of your act?"

"The Aristocrats!"

Astounding cover art by Nick Patterson.

From Tom's introduction:

"What else but political incorrectness can be expected from the shady likes of Dante, the Marquis de Sade, H.P. Lovecraft, Samuel Beckett, Vladimir Nabokov, William Burroughs, Hunter Thompson, and so forth? Such are some of the unquiet spirits whose evidence appears on these pages, as extruded from pens only incidentally clutched in our fingers. These guys wrote before the present enlightened age, and were never brought to heel by Stylists. Even Lewis Carroll, also on our table of contents, has been deemed too funny an uncle for twenty-first-century girlies."

Calliope's Boy features, among other gentry, a lapsed Mormon banjoist losing his mind in the London tube; a Japanese language teacher being fisted in the Utah desert by wild Uncompahgre Indians while their squaws gnaw on his fingers; a compulsively masturbating former Red Guard; a visit to the corpse-littered bowels of Beijing's Public Security Bureau lockup; and an acid-addled fourteen-year-old's brain dalliance with an old lady in a Nevada psych ward.

Along the way we learn special secrets, such as, for example, the techniques which Hiroshima Yakuza use to beat their Filipina sex slaves without bruising the merchandise, and also how feigned cunnilingus can keep you from being thrown off a Chinese train.

"Tom Bradley is one of the most criminally underrated authors on the planet."
--Andrew Gallix, editor and publisher of 3:am Press

Hemorrhaging Slave of an Obese Eunuch happens in the middle of the Adriatic Sea during Neronic times, in Hiroshima Cathedral's demon-infested basement, in the royal elephant stables of a Hindustani town three millennia ago, in a Tokyo AIDS hospice disguised as a derelict kindergarten, on a yacht anchored off a South China leper isolation colony, and on top of a skull-shaped and -textured geothermal formation in the prune-colored midnight.

"This Bradley would make Lafcadio Hearn reel with laughter...if not shake his head in wonder."
--Lolita Lark, editor of RALPH Magazine

"I love the contradictions in Bradley's work: the subtlety beneath the rollicking humour; the precision, in his more political work, underlying the scathing tone; and the clarity of his language throughout."    
--Val Stevenson, editor of nthposition Magazine